Question Of The Day: Do You Believe in Living Together Before Marriage?


So a roundtable began between us  & 1/2 of  The Fabulous Duo about the topic of living together before marriage…Lets just say each one of all think differently…

Do You Believe in Living Together Before Marriage?

What do you sinners

I’ll reserve my thoughts for the post coming this week…*insert evil laugh*


12 Responses to Question Of The Day: Do You Believe in Living Together Before Marriage?

  1. SJD says:

    NO, NO, NO, FUCK NO!!!
    I say this strongly because I’ve done it and the shit can go all bad. Like, unbelievably bad. Imagine the worst fight you’ve ever had with your significant other, the one where you might not be together afterwards. Now imagine that you can’t make that fucker leave. You have to sleep under the same roof/in the same bed with this person after they’ve thrown presents at your head on Christmas morning and just told you to go fuck your mother/father. (shakes away bad memories)

    Until you’re ready to put THE ring on it and make titles permanent and get the government involved with name changes, keep your own place.

  2. t.polite says:

    I second SJD’s thought {a little trauma there sir??}. We need to have a date set or at least be engaged before I’ll even think about it. Plus, “you sinners” as you’ve stated set yourselves up for some ish when you do it. If you’re going to do it, do it right. What would make you want to marry me if we’ve already been playing house? Let’s be disciplined enough to prepare ourselves properly for this journey that we will travel together. You create more problems for yourself when you don’t.

    Yeah I know there are things you want to know about a person before you live with them and blah blah but if you are ready to move in with someone, you’ve been with them long enough to know their living habits anyway. If I find out you pick your toes on the coffee table, we can fix that. You’ll know if the person is trifling well before you think about moving in with them.

  3. elle says:

    I have to disagree with both of you. If two people are in a relationship and choose to be in a relationship, so be it! Why should they be looked down upon as sinners and shacking up?!? I’m pretty sure if you’re in that relationship then you’re having sex, right?!? So who’s sinning too?!? Anyway, ppl see couples moving in as doomsday and that’s not the case. Yes, you will get in arguments, get on each others nerve, cuss each other out so on and so forth. But do you need a piece of paper and a ring to make you wanna work it out and not separate?!? True, True, you all aren’t ‘married’ and haven’t confirmed it in front of God blah blah blah, but I’m pretty sure you’re having sex and doing everything else…like I said before.

    If you’re not married and happen to live with your mate, so the *blank* what? I stay with my boyfriend and I love it, he is my best friend!!! Granted, we argue and do what couples do, but if we were married we would be doing the same thing…so I don’t see what’s the problem! Half the reason we stay together is because it’s cheaper anyway. We would just be over each others house paying $500 more a piece. At the end of the day it works out fine. We not in a rush to get married because we not about to go into debt so we can impress our family & friends to show our love for each other in a dumb *blank* wedding-please-it’s a recession going on. We show our love for each other by sticking it out when times our rough, holding each other down because we are we have, and loving each other when it hurts-you heard Avant song lol-get hip!

    However, I suggest that you don’t judge others when you reaaaalllly don’t know the situation, and don’t call them sinners either. There is only one judge and I don’t think he writes on blogs!!!

    Be Blessed!

  4. t.polite says:

    Elle, honey, woo-sah please. Try deep breathing and woo-sah. It’ll make you feel better.

    No one was condemning you to hell for living with your boyfriend. If you’ll kindly turn your attention to my post, I put quotations around *you sinners* because I was quoting what Dre said in the OP. If you look there, he put *lol* after his statement, implying that he was being sarcastic and/or thought that statement was funny. I was follwing the sentiment.

    If you are comfortable with your situation, then so be it. You have to answer to no one. SJD disagreed with the living arrangement bc he got a christmas sweater that he knitted for his ex hurled at him, nearly causing blunt force trauma to the head *snickering* and I place a certain amount of value on love and marriage and therefore would choose not to be in that situation because of how I wish to see those things executed in my life.

    No one was judging you, or anyone else for that matter. Please be comfortable and confident in what you choose to do because you have to live with the outcome, whether positive or negative. If living together works for you, then do you. You have no one to impress but each other.

    Nothing on The Stoop is meant to take personal. Or maybe it is? lol…

    Good day.

  5. SJD says:

    @ Elle – You sound a little sensitive to this issue, lol. Know that when I make my comments, I’m speaking from personal experience; I lived with my ex for over a year. We had about 2 good months before shit started falling apart. Now, I’m not saying that the relationship failed because we lived together. However, living together did make the fights and the final split that much more difficult. For every couple like you that’s holding each other down, there are a few couples like me where you go home not knowing if you’re going to get that good good or have a chris brown/rihanna moment.

    It’s for that reason that I’m against it until you are both full prepared to get married. And I do think that actually being married gives people more incentive to work things out. For guys, breaking up with you means we need to find a new source of mouth hugs; divorce means we need to find a new way to hide our income from alimony.

  6. TFD says:

    Yay! I’m the half! 🙂 LOL.

    Sherohn sweetie, you summed up one of my key e-arguments “Actually being married gives people more incentive to work things out”. Too many people use living together as their true test of compatability or as their preview to the pending marriage (that ends up going out the window anyway once the sweaters start flying…LOL. (((SJD))) ). My thing is – what happens if things aren’t as honky-dory as you want while living together? Will you stay to work them out if you’re not married? Probably not because you’ll say that you recognized crazy coming home and moved out of the house. But what happened to that pending marriage? Gone with the wind.

    Elle, darling – This is not the place of judgement merely the place of jokes & jokes & jokes. It should be taken as such…at the end of the day, who cares what we think. I know I don’t care what you people think. LOL. Real talk though – If you are living together for financial benefits, why not make it official at the justice of peace for the small price of a marriage license and reap the financial benefits of the married folks courtesy of the government? Tax breaks. Credit upgrade. All of that legit good-good.

    For the record, I have friends who live with their spouses and it works fabulously for them and I couldn’t be happier. Other friends…well, let’s just say I’ve already looked up U-Haul prices for last-minute notices of “IT’S OVER!” and prices for relaxation vacays. LOL. True story. Do what works for you…however, I know that until he puts a *fabulous* ring on it plus we’ve set a date and/or sent the deposit, we will NOT split rent or share a mailbox. That’s just me.


  7. Dre says:

    Im all for it…I’ll explain why later….on another note Elle, your new around these parts, you may not understand how we get down around here (c) Memphis Bleek. Its all jokes as Kate said but more importantly we really could care less…everybody & everything is fair game so if sensitive this might not be the best place for you hun…lol..other than that loosing up an welcome to the site

  8. elle says:

    I didn’t read the response comments word from word but I didn’t take anything from the previous comments posted before me personal or feel attacked by them. I was just simply stating my opinions.

  9. elle says:

    LMAO! You guys are sooo funny!!! My boyfriend decided to read the the comments aloud and I COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING-seriously! Please understand that I was not being sensitive or taking anything personal like I said before-dre thank you for the warm welcome-I was just simply stating my opinion. I read the blog from time to time so I most definitely know where I am at, so I know it’s all in fun. However, I was simply stating my opinion!!! Ciao…

    And to the oh so Fab Katelyn Jessica-I have thought about the tax benefits, but for a few reasons-I would rather not say because that would be a whoooole other topic- have decided against doing that at this time.
    I’m going back to my own stoop now! Peace

  10. reddoggydog says:

    I have to agree with elle, I actually think it’s made our relationship a lot stronger, not to mention the $$ we’re saving, the COL in S. Florida is OUTRAGEOUS!!! LOL

  11. TFD says:

    …*looks around*…umm, Katelyn Jessica?! A-Dre-An, I think you extended your welcome to an INSIDE (wo)MAN! LOL. Show yourself! Come out with your hands up!

    I’m all about tax benefits though, give me the works.

    Oh and Cliffy dear, you’re paying for ocean, sand, sun and consistent 75+ degree weather. Please stop your complaining. Nobody is sympathetic to your situation in the least, lol. NOBODY. 🙂

  12. Dre says:

    Lol…*looks around* Elle, have we met before? We meaning everyone who frequents the stoop…lol

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