Where date-a-bility meets flakey ass broads…


What up world? Lately, M.Keez has been alot more bitter, not sure if its the DDS or the fact that a nigga been gettin these Gerber New Baby Life Insurance offers in the mail (every woman I thought I could’ve gotten pregnant, I took to the amusement park at least three times…btw, the amusement park is the fun way to get rid of it, lol), but i’m ranting to you niggas once again. Ever since i’ve been in NC, i’ve had the strangest issues with women in my life, it may be that i’m a northern nigga stuck in the south, could just be me, but time and time again, I can’t help but to blame it on the broads. I’ve had a chic pour ketchup all over a nigga’s car, broads with heads the size of a Bobby’s World character try to seduce me, jumpoffs who gave it up on the first night try to convince me that I needed to wife them (Keez never changes the game in the ninth inning…u end up where u start with me), but the issue that I seem to run into the most is flakey ass females.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term. A flakey ass female is defined herein as a woman who you set up a date or time to kick it with, and she either cancels or stands a nigga up. When asked, ‘What happened?’ This broad will either give you a fake ass excuse, i.e. ‘I had to run my cousin to Wal-Mart, cuz her EBT card just got reloaded, and they were outta groceries at her house’ or the inexcusable ‘Honestly, I forgot’. Most of the time, I get the latter as the excuse of choice. Just this past week a nigga hit up this chic to go out on Thursday (set up the date on Tuesday), a nigga has Thursday off, so I stop by the neighborhood CVS to pick up a pack of ‘Extended Pleasures’ (ladies, these condoms are a blessing to the one minute man in your lives) head home, tidy up the crib, Febreze up the sheets, and display my liquor in anticipation that ole girl might come back to the crib to give up a mouth hug…for the cause (disregard the previous post about celibacy,lol). Only, it didn’t happen. House cleaned, clothes set out, smell good on, watchin First 48 butt naked on the couch when the idea that this bitch might flake on me overtook me. 

Eight rolls around and I decide to text the broad to see if my intuition was true, and guess what the response was…’Honestly, I forgot all about our date, i’m with my homegirl, you shoulda hit me up earlier to remind me’. I tried to play it cool, so I texted the broad back like, thats understandable, have fun…Basically what she was saying is ‘Nigga, I really don’t value your time in the least’. Understandable, but i’m nacho ordinary nigga. First thought that immediately went through my head was ‘Bitch, your boss doesn’t have to remind you that you work fries at Mickey D’s on Thursdays, so wtf?’ Like seriously yo, how are you a grown ass woman that can’t keep track of her schedule on a day to day basis? If the broad is smart enough to know that if her period don’t come around the first Sunday, then she should be smart enough to remember our date at Hometown Buffet…sheesh.

Now, you’re probably thinkin, well damn man, you kinda goin in on ole girl, like maybe she forgot…nah, lol. Like, I personally feel that time is the most valuable possession we have, because you can never, ever get that back, and when someone takes your time without consideration, that’s unforgivable (c) Diddy, without a valid excuse and forewarning a nigga. It doesn’t help that this broad had actually asked to take me out to dinner the previous Friday at 8. I call her at 8 to no response, and she hits me back at 10 asking if I want to meet up with her for drinks…you fuckin serious, yo? At this point, I had made plans with the next chic, so you lose (c) Kanye.

I wouldn’t blog about this if this was a one time occurrence, but i’ve had fine chics do this to me, Teddy Ruxpin built broads, and potential jump offs…all came at Keez with the flakeability, and for what? I’m too confident to think its me, lol…I’m a funny and bluntly honest nigga, what broad doesn’t love that? Ladies, whats the point of the flakeability? Nobody is too busy to be inconsiderate. Nothing is wrong with tellin a nigga no either…i’ve heard that fine word for years, when I asked questions such as ‘Baby, can I just stick the tip in?’ or ‘You tryna hit up Hometown, tonight is steak night?’ or ‘You sure you didn’t get those bumps from your ex?’, lol. So no, doesn’t hurt a nigga’s feelings at all, if anything, thats the best thing you can say to a nigga like me. I hate to waste time dealing with a broad who has no mutual interest in me, and so the sooner we come to that reality, the better for Keez, and the rest of the fellas out there.

Personally, I think females do the shit on purpose…to these broads, I could be the back up nigga, just in case the number one nigga 42 fakes on her, and i’m cool with that role, as long as i’m gettin the draws just like the number one nigga, lol. I find it hard to believe that in the times we are living in, with Outlook and Personal Calendars on our phone, that we can’t remember setting up dates/meetings, etc. But its ok, cuz i’ll remember all of ya’ll broads who flaked out on me…we’ll see who gets the last laugh when you callin that cab after I boot that ass outta the crib at four in the morning, and guess what i’ll be doin? Lookin out my window, watchin yo ass freeze and laughin like the lil Hell Date midget, so keep playin, lol.

Lastly, ladies remember, if your man wears a condom with you every time, he might not trust your decision making skills (c) Corey Holcomb.


One Response to Flakeability

  1. KJ says:

    Maybe ol girl just got wind of what you had planned m key (liquor and extended pleasurez lol) and decided to pull your card before you pulled hers. You lost this round. Next time make plans to show up at her house then her ass won’t be able to skip out. The gas money will temporarily inconvenience you, but if you put it on her right I’m sure she will fix you a sandwich to make up for it :o) ~SLIM

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