You know usually I dont do this, but fuck it…keep the party going…..
Follow me ladies & gentleman as I reminisce about my first nut….
You know everytime I have a conversation with a young snatch about “when did you first start having sex” I always get the same response….GAH DAMN NIGGA! I never really understood why. Now true I did start bumpin uglies quite young but my juice box count is alot lower than what you may think. My first time ever getting a piece of that sweet potato pie (c) domino was in the 7th grade! I remember it like it was yesterday. It was with my girlfriend named……time out names dont matter besides I dont need you heathens googling trying to find what this broad may look like now..lol…Some background information.
I’ve always been a sexual cat! I remember stayin up late during the weekends to watch REAL SEX. As as soon as moms closed her eye lids HBO bitches of course on mute. Now my dads house was a completely different experience because he worked nights so you already know I had the tv on blast. Thats when I met Heather Hunter and so many others…lol…Anyways my first kiss was in the 6th grade with a 8th grader. It happened @ a skating rink…. Jodeci came on, she pinned a nigga in the corner and gave me some lip service. Funny thing was I was no where near ready for what was about to happen. This broad stuck her thick ass tongue down my throat and all of a sudden I panic because at this point Im confused as fuck. Am I suppose to turn my head? Which way do I swing my tongue? Am I suppose to lead? This shyt is weird…..As a middle schooler I took pride about being the top fingera! Thats right I would finger pop a chick to death. She would be shakin and the whole nine. You gotta think back then kissing, feeling, and possibly rubbin the monkey was big time. Nothing like chillin with ya niggas and runnin ur finger across they nose too gloat…..lol….Girls would brag about how great of a fingera I was. So as you can see I was off to fast start…..lol
So anyways back to the story now she was also in 7th too but she had the body of a 18 yr old. She was built nice! Thick, dumps (fyi, thats a donkey), D cups (motor boat time), and she had some of that soft hair that could uphold a drip or two if it so happen to skeet up that way (dont ask me how). So one day me and the miss was riding home on the yellow after school and she told me she was ready to take that step. Ahhhhhhh Shuckey Duckey Quack, Quack…..I was wit it! Was I nervous? Hell no….my real dilemma wasnt about how I was going to perform but how in the hell I was going to get a strap. Back in the days a nigga was just super duper embarrassed to buy any. Thats where sandwhich bags w/ the twisty tie, plastic grocery bags, and wrap came into play. Ight so the day had finally came!
Moms dropped me off over the crib thinking we were going to watch movies under supervision. Nope! All she had to do is glance down while we was riding over there and she would have known right then and there what was about to go down. The whole ride my pants looked like I was smuggling a jumpin cucumber. I kept adjusting my shyt but the homie was just to excited. So I get there and she had that soft “fuck me to this” music playing. If I recall correctly it was a mixture of tony, toni, tone, & Janet Jackson (anytime anyplace). So here goes nothing….lol…
We kissing for 5 hours atleast….thats what it felt like to me…of course Im tryin to work the bra…fail…It was like trying to figure out a gah damn rubix cube I swear. So finally she helped me out. AHHHHHHH the girls are out….she attempted to rub & jack me but it felt more like she was trying to twist my dick into a preztel…panties come off…I feel all this warmth, and goo like substance build on my fingers (according to others this was my sign that she was ready and it was time). So bam pull my dick all the way out. Draws was spotted like a muthafucka what can I say Im leaker….She butt naked and me? Well Im naked as well just with socks on…lol..condom comes out…rip it open and gave her the “ahhh yea boo I know what Im doin” look and then…fuck…put the plastic on the wrong way…fail…ight reverseeeeeeee….here we go…Im on swole, tryin to get my stroke together. I could dance so all I kept thinking was fuck to the drums, fuck to the drums, just stay on beat…lol…..I kept thinking damn its mighty warm in here. She moanin & turning red (she was hella lightskinned…lol) so of course I think Im doin something. Now heres where the shyt gets interesting….
She wants to get on top! Im like helllssss chea (cause at that point Im tired as hell and its less pressure)….so she climbs up to mount this snake and boom I get a full view of a real live MONKEY. I dont know if I had my eyes closed or what during the first part but anyways boooom there it was and immediately I thought WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? WHY DOES IT HAVE SO MANY LAYERS? ITS GOT DIFFERENT COLOR TONES, BROWN OUTSIDE, PINK INSIDE? DAMN THIS IS SOME UGLY SHYTT! IT LOOKS LIKE THE PREDATOR (UNMASKED). So as she is getting it in, Im thrown off low key because I could not stop staring at it like WTF….that was until my toes started tingling and the shot gun went off….Couldnt move or talk for about a good solid minute….that first nut was a monster ….well technically I dont think that was my first jizz more like my 2nd or 3rd…lol…..and well boys & girls thats the end…