The idea of love, that is…
When you’re single the idea of being in a relationship toys with the mind…at times. At times because Monday thru Wednesday, you’re thinkin ‘Damn, it would be nice to have a boo to come home to…maybe she’d cook a nice ass dinner, so I wouldn’t have to swing by Aladdin’s Italian Food (he gettin Arab money!), and maybe she’d throw on that Vicky’s Secret so that I wouldn’t have to watch All That Azz 48’. But for some reason, all that goes out the window from Thursday thru Sunday…at least for me. Its during this time that i’m thinkin of all the shit that i’m saving…time, money and most importantly, my sanity. Time, because no matter how many broads you meet in the club, you’re liable to waste a lot of time on the dating scene. You know, that whole, getting to know each other part of dating…I hate that shit with a passion, yo. The last ‘real’ date I went on was pretty successful on my part…not successful in terms of me takin her to the crib (actually ended up being another night with me and Roxy), but successful in terms of me being myself, and being completely open and honest with the chic, so that she understood me enough to know if she wanted to spend any more of her time. I usually give all females the same run down…i’m not lookin for a relationship, i’m hopin to get some out of the situation and do you mind paying for your meal? Now, if they’re willing to accept none of the above…we best part ways, but if she’s willing to either give up the draws and pay for her meal, i’m willing to sell her the dream of the possibility of a relationship. I know ya’ll sayin ‘That Ain’t Right’…so, lol. Selling the dream of a relationship is the equivalent of putting the proverbial carrot in front of the jackass to convince him to keep it moving…same thing with chics. I usually throw little subtle shit out there that I know a female can’t change about herself…if i’m dating a baby mama, i’ll tell her how much I can’t stand bad ass kids, and so on and so forth.
Being single also saves a nigga a lot, I mean, a lot of money. Back in the day, a nigga did have a high level of ‘simp’ in his blood. I thought that you had to impress females by taking them out to nice places, trickin off at Build-a-Bear, and doing all kinds of other weak nigga shit…until Juvenile spit four bars, that saved my life (music is really impactful on a nigga). The lyrics go a lil somethin like this:
Now I dun fixed these bitches house up, and had em livin swell
Yet and still a nigga like me was eatin at Taco Bell
But after that shit, all that trick shit I stopped it
And locked my fuckin pockets you can’t pick it or pop it
Damn, Juvie…you said it all right there. I mean, I can really relate to that on so many levels. So many times a nigga would take a chic out, drop dough, go home, and never get a text or call from old girl again…maybe the occasional, obligatory ‘Hey Stranger’ bullshit that females do, which is cool, cuz the females were smart…they saw a simp ass nigga who was willin to pay for a nice meal at Applebee’s, so they took advantage, so I can’t knock em. Nowadays…shit is completely different. I live by the $20 date rule © Tariq Nasheed aka ‘That Nigga’. Reason being is that, if you both decide that you’re not feelin one another, and neither of you will proceed with a future, then at least you didn’t lose a significant amount of money, knamean? The key is to not tell the female that you’re on some cheap shit…females like the coziness of a coffee shop in the fall and winter times and the coolness of the ice cream parlor when its warm…take advantage, niggas, lol. For me to take a female to somewhere nice anymore…we have to have a good rapport, I need to at least have received some head, or we need to have a contractual agreement stating that if M.Keez takes said broad out to said Steak House, he will be hitting said ass, within 15 minutes of the date’s ending, our said broad will be responsible for paying for the whole of the date…fellas, I suggest ya’ll start using this, its at least a decent conversation piece. Granted, if i’m seriously dating a female, we’d take turns on who pays for the dates, but even that can add up after a while…i’m not a cheap nigga, just a selfish one, so I don’t mind spending on myself…a broad? Iuonnno, lol.
Onto the most important thing…my sanity. From my own, personal experiences, to those of my friends and family members…relationships can make you do some irrational ass shit. Some time ago, a shitty ass relationship had me walking up and down 161 (shouts out to Columbus) lookin for a hotel room at 4 in the morning with my roll-a-way suitcase like I was Joseph and Mary, cuz ole girl decided it was cool to put a nigga out at 3 in the morning. Relationships can make you stay married to a broad that’s been cheatin with the nigga that do cable from round the way, relationships can make you stay with a broad out of the fear of child support garnishing half your wages, and relationships can make a nigga question if his daughter is really his daughter, lol. I’m being the pessimist, huh? Oh, not so fast my friends © Lee Corso. If people were so happy and content in relationships/marriages, then we wouldn’t have high ass divorce rates or large numbers of single mothers…proof that niggas and females aren’t happy people © Kelz, in relationships. Every once in a blue moon you’ll see that couple that makes it last through the fire, but overall…I can’t say that I see a lot of niggas who are happy in relationships. Fellas and ladies…its nothin wrong with being single with a roster full of jumpoffs. This gives you the ability to remain uncommitted, and enjoy the best aspects of multiple people…you might have a broad who you vibe with on some ole Erykah Badu and Andre 3000 type shit, but she just won’t give you the ass…so you kick it with her, then hit up ole girl who has the hands of Jenna Jamison, the ass of Buffy the Body and the face of Halle Berry to roc your mic…nothing wrong with that at all. Its better to be an uncommitted whore than to be a committed whore. A lot of times people cheat because they can’t find all of their desires in one person, which speaks to a blog that i’ll write about at a later time on is there really such a thing as, the one?
Despite all that, i’m still in love with the idea of love…but the reality of love is a bitch. The reality of love will have you arguing with a broad over who ate the last bowl of Frosted Flakes or why she bet not put her hands on the remote while you’re watching the game. Relationships can be beautiful though, which is what we all desire. In the words of the mighty Mos Def, ‘It’s a dangerous necessity…a world famous mystery’, so inherently, love is something we all need in its most romantic form. Being in love, which I think i’ve had the experience of…once, is a beautiful thing, that everyone should experience, but even that has its ups and downs. My question to you is, is love worth all the bullshit you have to go through to be ‘in love’?