True Negro Theories: Rule #1 Head is Not A Option Its a Requirement

Not to long ago I was at a little get together and the topic about giving head came up. The fellas argument was simple, head is expected. To my surprise a few chocolate bunnies and one pink toe agreed (like that was shock..lol). But some gals got all ansi and was like “Ahhhhh hell nahhhhhhh! No nigga should ever expect that. Head is a treat and its reserved for someone special.”

Huh? Thats that bullshit right there. This is where I draw the line. I immediately jumped in! I’m sure your wondering how did Dre respond? Well let me tell you—–>Yeahhhh fuggin right! This aint the late 80’s early 90’s where head was considered taboo.  In this day an age giving head is just as common as kissing. As a matter of fact I searched thru my trusty “Relations” handbook and noticed this was rule #1. Not only is head a requirement but it comes with a no opt out clause. Now, swallowing on the other hand thats a different story……walk with me…lol

That pic above…lol…is the perfect description of how women (especially black women) react to this topic. To be honest I dont even recall how this whole conversation initially started I just remember when it took a wrong turn and crashed. The girl asked “If I was serious?” and I kindly responded “hells chea” (c) McLovin. Now to be fair it goes both ways. I know a grip of females that wont even acknowledge your existence if you are not willing to eat the twat. The difference is niggas dont care if its public we’re all for it. To my surprise I recently found out that theres a new generation of niggas who actually eat just to be eating as if the shyt is a sport. To make it worse my homegirl also told me that these new niggas also throw in eating booty as a bonus.

*blank stare*

What the fuck! Who knew……Where are all the female gagger packs? The tonsil touchers? I need to know. Now me personally I can count on one hand how many vaginas I have faced off (c) Bow Wow/Omarion with. Dont get me wrong Im all for it but on the flip side the shyt aint a hobby. Hell when Im dumpin dick I dont even kiss girls well unless I care about em but thats another story…lol

Its 2008 going into 2009, its time to step it up and stop acting like giving head is a bad thing. No I shouldnt have to be your finance, your boyfriend, your boo or whatever title just to get some lip service. How powerful is head? Ask Superhead. Now on the other hand Im not encouraging ladies to put every dangalang they come across in they mouth because that aint cute either. Nothing sexy about kissing girl with different dick prints on her tongue. That would just make her a slut muffin. All Im saying is that there is nothing wrong with it. When I meet a gal I hit her with some questions off top….

Me: How you doing? Whats your name?

Female: I’m doing good. My name is Tina! You know your cute, Im cute, I think you should order a couple of drinks for us.

Me: Nah Im straight on that besides you got in free and thinking is overrated. 

Female: Whatever! No, Im single and sexy out here. 

Me: Ok, ok, thats alright! So enough of the small talk, do you enjoy having penis in your jaws? Just curious thats all.

Intercourse is coo but if it came down to it I could survive sexually off of head. Besides sex can be overrated at times especially if the girl is lazy..lol….Is that bad? Nahhh its honest. Back in high school if you got into it with a female the worse statement she could hit you with was “Nigga you wasnt saying that when you was lickin my pussy.” That was always a game changer..lol…Now a days nobody is shocked by that. I digg girls who brag about their throat game. I think its sexy! Embrace sucking! You see what happened when Hillary Clinton let up….that was a lessoned learned (c) Alicia Keys

Previously: Jackin Save My Life

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9 Responses to True Negro Theories: Rule #1 Head is Not A Option Its a Requirement

  1. Well by surprise I do agree! But let’s keep it all the way real. Like the fellas, the ladies LOVE gettin some as well! See me I am a real woman! I don’t mind doing a little SUMTIM SUMTIM but the gift has to be exchanged! A woman ain’t really worth much that doesn’t give a little head from time to time! Because for the bitch that won’t the next will! But FELLAS a man really ain’t shit if he kissing all the LIPS!!!!!! Come on ya’ll it’s time to grow up! Head comes with the territory but both partners has to be on a common ground about the topic!!!

    Shanara Renee’

  2. m.keez says:

    Man…I agree with the whole thing. You shoulda talked about head etiquette tips (for ladies), so i’ll discuss mine, lol. Sistas…ain’t nothin wrong with shaving, like, for real. Now I dun met alot of women in my lifetime….and I can think of about two sistas who shaved, the rest had that presidential shit…George BUSH! A nigga ain’t goin down to scrape his tongue on that brillo pad you got down there, that ain’t wassup, shave it so we can have easier access. I gave up on hairy chics, after I went down on a chic, and the next day, everything tasted like water, cuz the broad’s brillo pad of a bush scraped off all my taste buds…so if you hairy…i’ll holla.

    Also, if the cooch looks like a t-shirt you been fightin in (c) corey holcomb, keep it movin…’Oh, them just razor bumps…you told me to shave’. Shiiiiiiiiid, lol. I’ll let the next man figure out if those are razor bumps, or that herp.

    Number three…keep it clean, damn! Like…a nigga knows when his breath stank, so he’ll try to avoid directly being in someone’s face…same thing goes for a funky/tart cooch. If yo cooch smell like old football cleats, baby girl, you need to get tested, knowing is beautiful.

    Lastly…for the triflin females. If you on the rag, do not, I repeat, do not, let a nigga get on his knees, unbutton them jeans and aim to please…only to find that big ass maxi pad, and then give a nigga that look like ‘I ain’t know’ (this ain’t never happened to me before….my niggas told me about a similar situation, lol). But yeah…head is a requirement, and so is a clean cooch.

  3. t.polite says:

    1. I agree with about 99.3% of this article. The major issue being how do you expect that all girls give mean dome game but you can count on one hand how many times you’ve gone down to bless your girls (and we KNOW there are more that you can count on one hand, including that extra nub you have on your left hand)?? That’s horribly skewed. I’m not saying that it’s a tit for tit type thing but come on, there’s something wrong with that. Nothing wrong with seeing how many licks it takes to get to the center…

    2. M.Keezy…do you shave all of your hair off to get some head? NO! and don’t think hair doesn’t go in our mouths either. It comes with the territory. Now, am I saying that you should work on a chick with a bush as big as the fro on my head? hells no. Just be satisfied with the trimming of the lawn. To cut it all off is the most excruciating thing in the world bc it has to grow back. Plus, I’m a grown ass woman. I am not interested in looking like an 11 year old in the crotch. That’s that stuff that you and the rest of your wannabe’s do. We chocolate bunnies don’t do madness such as that from my knowledge…

    and who you mess with with stank puss? That’s bad hygiene. It’s like dumpster run off…stay away. Don’t go dumpster diving…Girls know when they aren’t fresh, Trust me. If she still let’s you near her and she smells like old yogurt, run far far away and don’t go back…

    3. Yes, dudes lick ass. It’s a glorious occasion. Try to convince someone to do it for you. It’ll change your life. Know that people do a lot you wouldn’t think they do. You just make sure you don’t kiss them afterward. lol…

    oh yeah…this~Nothing sexy about kissing girl with different dick prints on her tongue~is EFFING hilarious…the end.

  4. ms. cali says:

    So enough of the small talk, do you enjoy having penis in your jaws? Just curious thats all.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    so weak at that statement.

    3. Yes, dudes lick ass. It’s a glorious occasion. Try to convince someone to do it for you. It’ll change your life. Know that people do a lot you wouldn’t think they do. You just make sure you don’t kiss them afterward. lol…
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^
    this is so true… lol. its revolutionary!!! however, definitely won’t be calling you after that move and sure aint ever kissing you. call me scandless but the facts are the facts. can’t wife a dude that licks crack. lol.

    i can think of many dudes at osu alone that give head like they’re going for an olympic team, wanting nothing in return… to the point where ur turning ppl down. however in all t. polite said it best. nothing more for me to add on the topic.

  5. m.keez says:

    Whats wrong with niggas…goin down with nothing in return…thats grounds to immediately kick a broad out with zero bus fare…hell nah.

    As far as shaving…a female don’t gotta shave, but if she wants a brotha to go down, she better do somethin, otherwise, imma just look at her crazy shen she try to put it in my face talkin bout, ‘its my turn’…b-please, lol. the only niggas i know that shave are porn stars, like i don’t see the point of us doing that, unless the base is right by the tip, lol.

    oh, its plenty of females that i’ve messed with that had hygiene issues, and i threw my thirst in reverse…i’ve had a couple females with stank puss, and i’ve also had one chic who had some nasty tasting nipples (my doctor homegirl told me that was some kinda disease, lol). So yeah, everything was gettin hot and hectic, and I tasted that nipple, and it was straight limp noodle….she tried to ask what was wrong, and I was like yeah girl, we movin a lil bit too fast…even though i’d been wantin to hit that since freshman year at o-state and it was my fifth year, lol…somethings just aren’t meant to be.

    and as far as lickin ass goes, like i just wouldn’t feel right having it done to me, thats almost on some homo-type stuff. and as far as doin it to females…what if she fart while you back there? sometimes you can’t control that shit, like when u at the gym and on the treadmill, and u just let it out….sex is like excercise, so who’s to say she won’t let a wet one out in ur grill? can u be mad at her, cuz nobody told yo ass to get back there…u gotta think about too many factors, thats y i’ll pass on lickin ass.

    but this eatin out and gettin nothin in return is an epidemic…thats y i tell all my ladies…u go first, lol. its almost as bad as the ole cuddle buddy ass niggas who females call up just to cuddle with, and don’t give up the draws…wtf? i will kick a broad out of her own bed for that, after i superman that hoe while she sleep, lol

  6. Dre says:

    See my thing is this….Im not saying it has to be tit for tat Im saying women shouldnt act all reserve about it. If you a bopper be a bopper…and actually contrary to believe Ms. Polite I only got 4 fingers up on my record….is that skewd of course it is….again its not a hobby….Im not saying how many times Im saying just the whole idea of it being reserved for someone special yada yada….nothing wrong be having that good throat action….

    Kezz, I would never eat a forest out, you better than me…..

    Cali, how you gone let someone lick ur taint, enjoy it but dont kiss em afterwards….that aint riight….I tricked a girl into licking my booty before and while it did feel weird it wasnt all that enjoyable…you know why? Because i couldnt bust a nut…so if I cant bust one off then whatever serves no purpose…lol

  7. MsMiss says:

    Ok. Well here’s a real woman’s point of view. Dre you will probably appreciate it. Whenever I hear about a man or woman not willing to go down, I think to myself, they still make you. Just like BETA tapes, you should be destroyed. I’ve been fucking for almost 25 yrs, therefore I ain’t been scared of dick for a long time. I get tired of women (and men) always talking about wanting a man to go down on them. But are not willing to return the favor. I can’t stand women who only do it to “please” their man. That’s bullsh*t! If you’re not doing because you like to do it, it won’t be good for him or you. I can’t stand women who act like they afraid of it. It’s one of the most liberating things you can do. A woman should be able to make herself come as well as making him while doing . The power you feel from their response, their reaction to the pleasure you’re inflicting is out of this world!

  8. m.keez says:

    ^^^^^^
    Same thing Superhead says…you gotta love it ladies, and remember, it ain’t good if you ain’t gaggin, lol

  9. Locohama says:

    Enthusiasm is key to the best head. If enthusiasm is there then we can work with it. No enthusiasm no orgasm. Disgruntled head givers just need to say “I don’t do that” rather than start something they hate to do.

    Loco

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