My take on this bs….
I bust the windows out your car
And though it didn’t mend my broken heart
Ill probably always have these ugly scars
but right now I don’t care about that part.
I bust the windows out your car
After I saw you laying next to her
I didn’t wanna but I took my turn
I’m glad I did it cuz you had to learn
I must admit it helped a little bit
To think of how you’d feel when you saw it
I didn’t know that I had that much strength
But I’m glad you see what happens when
You see you cant just play with peoples feelings
Tell them you love them and don’t mean it
you’ll probably say that it was juvenile
But I think that I deserve to smile ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
Now, when I first heard this song, the first thing that came to my head was “Bitch I wish you wouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuld” © Kelz in ‘Real Talk’. Initially, I couldn’t believe this was a real, actual song, I really thought the shit was some kinda parody, because I couldn’t believe that, with the amount of crazy chickenheads © Maury Povich’s show running around here on a daily basis, radio programmers would allow this bullshit to be played through the airwaves…boy was a nigga wrong! Immediately, I went to the crib, legally downloaded it and listened to this song on repeat. And I really kept thinkin to myself, man, how many females is this song gonna negatively impact when they catch a nigga cheatin, or doin some other bullshit? Before this song, if a female caught her man cheatin, she’d call her girls, complain, go home, light some incense, play some mary j. and sip some hypnotic. After she got tipsy enough, she’d call up old boy’s homeboy, and put it on him, find out she was pregnant, unable to determine who the baby daddy is, she’d take both nigga’s on Maury, only to see these niggas squab it out, over this bad luck broad.
Fast forward to now, this same chic, caught the nigga cheatin, still sips the hypnotic, but goes to the crib and puts on this Jazmine Sullivan track, and gets the courage to go on and bust a nigga’s windows out. Now, I’m sure a lot of my niggas out there are rollin tight whips everyday © 504 boyz, so its gonna hurt to walk down the stairs with your main chic to see broken glass everywhere. Now as a nigga, you are in a dilemma, cuz you gotta explain to your real boo why ‘Jazmine’s’ name is scratched into both sides of your car, and you gotta file an insurance claim. So in an immature, round-about way, Jazmine exacted perfect revenge on yo ass…or so she thought. Now a nigga like me wouldn’t be so mad…hell, I drive a damn Dodge, I’d look at this situation as a golden opportunity, hell, I might even send Jazmine a thank you card, because now I can finally get my insurance company to total this piece of shit out. But to my niggas in the Lexus’, Infinitis, etc…oh, you can get that ass back easily with your own song…I call it ‘I Called the Po-Po On Yo Ass’ (sung to the same melody as Jaz’s song, lol…i’m only givin ya’ll nigga’s four bars, so do enjoy
I see this bitch dun hurt my car
After one night she thought we had a spark
Thought shit was funny but I got her credit cards
And now I’m laughin at her in the po-po car
Kinda wack, but oh well, lol. But anyways, fellas, call the police, cuz this shit is unjust, and we need to teach these women a lesson, if they wanna show up at our house unexpected, then they need to be prepared to see the unexpected, shit, lol. Now, think about if the shoe was on the other foot, and a nigga caught his female cheatin, and decided to release that inner Ike Turner that lives within a lot of these angry ass niggas? Best believe our asses would be in jail…and for all my brothas who are under six feet, studies show that 74% of the time, niggas under 6 foot get fucked in the ass in jail © Corey Holcomb, lol…so before you get that thought to strike a woman, which is wrong in every way, just think about that statistic, and I guarantee you’ll be on some peer mediation shit, the next time you and yo girl get into it.
Now, a lot of ya’ll might be sayin, what gives this nigga the qualifications to discuss this situation, so I’ll explain. Now, I was dealing with a Jazmine Sullivan type of broad, cool chic, but, being the honest nigga I am, I repeatedly told her, I ain’t about shit, I don’t want a relationship, blah, blah, blah…yet, somehow, when you tell a female that, her ass turns into the predator on you. Anyway, I did my one-two (yeah, one to two minutes…I ain’t care about her, lol) and we kicked it every now and again, but it was nothing serious. I found interest in a few other females, so a nigga moved her down a few slots on the roster. So I guess this broad really thought it was more than what it was, I’d get the occasional call, like, “Yeah, I baked a Thanksgiving Dinner and I can’t eat it all by myself, you want a plate”…and being the kinda guy that I am, I obliged, gave her a lil stuffing with that turkey, and kept it moving. Until one day, I don’t know if this broad was listening to some Mary J. or if she was related to Jazmine Sullivan’s ass (she was a Philly chic), but a nigga woke up, and the Mexican landscaper (insert joke here) is laughin at me hysterically, I look at this nigga, like, WTF, and keep it moving. Don’t you know this broad dun made up her own remix before the song even came out? “I Put Some Ketchup on Your Car?” And this broad put it all down in the vents in the front of my car, so that the smell just seeped into my car, i’m late for my job, tryna get this bullshit off my car. Meanwhile, this broad tries to play it off like nothing happened at all, even textin a nigga like everything is all good, so yeah niggas, I’m fully qualified, and that’s why I was so pissed when I heard this bullshit ass song on the radio.
Ladies, if you catch a man cheatin, its yo fault © Corey Holcomb…it really is, so deal with the consequences on your own, lol. Don’t take it out on a nigga’s possessions, use all that negative energy into finding out what exactly is wrong with you, so that you can determine why a nigga would cheat. Maybe yo ass had that “Good….But Smelly”, and he got tired of the crib smelling like Long John Silvers after you left. Maybe you just got too attached, cuz you’re 31, and you figured he was your last chance of actually convincing somebody to marry yo ass, or maybe you were a jumpoff without knowing. Whatever the case may be, figure out why a nigga would want to cheat on you, before you go bustin out somebody’s windows. If I could sing, I really would put out the sequel to this bullshit ass song, entitled “I Put That Broads Bags Up On That Curb, Now Where She Gon Go?” And lastly, ladies remember, I will never lie to you unless I start to care about you © Corey Holcomb.