Lowered Expectations (c) Mad TV

I’m single than a mothalova © ghetto black films on BET…and the reasons are aplenty…first of all, this match.com is some real bullshit yo, like Dr. Phil…y a nigga gotta wait a whole six months to find somebody? In my first week, I’ve realize that I’m not gonna find the type of woman I’m lookin for on here, so go on and gimme that free six months right now. What am I lookin for you ask…just three small requests, low expectations, low self-esteem and a high t-cell count © Johnny Mack…Low expectations because I don’t want her to expect a lot out of me, so if I don’t call, she can say, well damn, I wasn’t expecting him to, so I can’t get pissed…if the sex ain’t good, she can say, well, I wasn’t expecting it to be good, so I can’t get pissed…but to flip that, it can also be a positive, lol…say she expecting some ole one minute, average phi average type of bs, and I break her off with a whole 13 minutes of passionate ecstasy? Then I’ve exceeded her expectations by 12 minutes (pats himself on the back and screams the champ is heaaaah). Low self-esteem because, I’m tired of runnin into these cute chics with weave who walk around thinking they shit don’t stank…fake nails, fake hair, fake eyelashes, and lookin for a real man with real money, chic please, how bout a fake date with some real action, lol…Enter cute girl with low self-esteem, there she is, cute, acne slightly bumpin and contacts got her squintin, she doesn’t think too highly of herself, but I do, cuz she doesn’t realize that she got a big ass sign on her head that says ‘Potential 4 a Ninja Like Me’, lol…she doesn’t realize she’s a cute girl, which makes her giddy to have the attention of urs truly…Lastly, and damnit, most importantly, a high t-cell count, to my scientifically challenged brethren out here, this means that she doesn’t have that HIV or AIDS (cuz I don’t need that AIDS, a D and an A missin out my ADIDAS)…or any other STD for that matter. I can’t stress how important that is nowadays, in the era of the fishnet condom © Jamie Foxx, this is all too important…speaking of which, look out for my poll on: When do niggas decide they’ll raw dog? This is a long debated question, because I’ve run into dudes who have hit me with this logic…”I mean, eventually, we were gonna do it, so I did it the first night, fishnet condom and all?” They never tell you that while they were doing the do, the AIDS in Africa special was on, lol

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One Response to Lowered Expectations (c) Mad TV

  1. t.polite says:

    Gawd, why? LMAO!

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